Back and around again

Well, it's been over a year. In that year lots has happened. I'll give you the Cliff Notes version because lets face it, you really don't give a shit about the details, right?

• Baby #2 aka Kiera Lynn entered this world on August 28, 2009. But then again, if you read this blog that means you know me and you probably already knew that.
• I'm losing my job on December 31, 2010 and have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life.
• I'm so freaking busy that some days I feel like I don't have time to breathe.
• We've done more work on the house (yes, shocker, I know)
  

It's taken me almost a year to get to this point. The point where I take back control over my life, my weight, and my health. I gained 8lbs during my pregnancy or something like that. I was down over 25lbs within 2 months of giving birth. As soon as I went back to work, it all went to hell in a hand basket and I gained 10 back. I could sit here and make excuses but what it comes down to is boredom and lack of movement being back in the office.

In my defense, the girls don't exactly sleep well on a regular basis and I tried numerous times to get back into a workout routine only to be interrupted by sleepless nights. But what is my excuse for the eating? I don't have one. Plain and simple.

I'm not going to sit here and proclaim that I'm back and 100% committed. I'd be fooling myself if I did. Hell, I'm sitting in a hotel room right now far from home. If that isn't a recipe for disaster, I don't know what is???

What I will do is exercise as regularly as I can. I worked out this morning and will do so for the next 2 mornings while I'm traveling. I'm hoping this can spur me into action when I get home (girls, do you hear me????? SLEEP!!!!)

What I will do is control my portions. I will not avoid "bad" foods but I will eat half. The world is not coming to an end so why do I need to eat like it is??? And I will limit my alcohol to weekends only (exceptions being for business trips because hot damn I needed those Naughty School Girls tonight to get me through that incredibly painful dinner! Yes it's a drink - get your mind out of the gutter Christopher)

It's not entirely about losing the weight. It's also about coming full circle on my relationship with food. Why do I graze? Why do I eat mindlessly? Why can't I just stop and say "No, I don't need that". If I had the answers, I wouldn't be obese know would I? But I will find what works for me. My weight may go up and down in the process and that's ok. It's not a race to take it off. It just needs to come off AND stay off.

This will be a process in finding what works for me and what fits into my life. I'm not giving up Date Night In with my husband. I need it. Is it more wine than I should consume in 1 sitting? Depends on who you ask! Do I need the snacky food with it? I don't know, anyone else think Tostito's and wine taste great together? I do.

The only promise I am making to myself is to be kind to myself. Try my hardest and have it be good enough. I will get there. My girls and Chris deserve a healthy, vibrant, active mom. They will get one.