Stressful times

The holidays are always a very stressful time of year both at work and at home. It's even more so now that we have A. It is SO much work to get ready for them and then they are over in a blink. Why do we do this to ourselves? It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I'm totally overwhelmed about everything that needs to be done for the holidays. It doesn't help that I'm bad about asking for help and then get mad when C can't read my mind and just know what needs to be done. Yeah, i'm a basketcase.

I'm having issues with my memory (this is not a new thing) but it's starting to scare me. Am I crazy? Do I have a serious issue here? I don't even know what is "normal" and what isn't when it comes to memory loss.

Tonight I got upset b/c it seems like life is so out of control and we just can't stop and enjoy it. And why are we even trying for another child when I can barely cope with A and our life most days. I think I was born w/o a coping mechanism or something. I just shut down. I barely have time to get everything done now, what the hell will we do with another child??? I know it's doable - people do it all the time. I just don't know how I will do it. Yet I want another child more than I can even express. A is the greatest gift that I have ever been given and to have another child would just be a blessing beyond words.