Wednesday blahs

I'm so, so down in the dumps right now. I just don't know how to pull myself out. It's bad. I'm 99% sure I'm not pregnant again and my mental health just can't deal with this. Seriously, I'm wondering if I need to be in therapy while TTC. It just takes over my whole being. Is it worth it? A was worth it but we have our miracle. Is it worth it so she has a sibling? I just don't know anymore. I just can't keep doing this and no matter how hard I try, I can't relax about it and I can't put it out of my mind until AF shows up or doesn't.

I'm so far down in the dumps that I don't even care about being OP right now. I'm still w/i points, I think but I'm not even checking. I just don't care. I feel bloated and fat and like a member of the pork family. I know I'm going to gain this week just from the bloat so I'm probably going to skip WI b/c that will be be the thing that sends me over the edge.

I have so much to do and what am I doing? Sitting on the couch. Why? Because I just had a glass of Sangria and I'm afraid to drive and the majority of what is on the top of my list requires me to drive.

I need to get out of this and I don't know how. I need my happy pills but I went off them so we could try again. Let's see, I'm off my meds to TTC but TTCing is making me need them. What to do . . . .