A post about life . . .

During our family walk on Thursday night (was it Thursday?? I think so), C and I had a good talk about TTC #2. I've been on the fence (and in all honesty, I still am) and so has he. The one thing we agree on is that we really don't want A to be an only child. Not that there is anything wrong with only children, b/c there isn't. But that being said, I have 1 sibling and C has 3. We both love big, loud, fun family gatherings and want A to experience the same. I fear the pressure and responsibility of her being an only child and the only one to take care of her old decrepit parents. Are those reasons enough to have another child??? This is what we struggle with.

We've done the pro's and con's and we both come back to that one sticking point of her having a sibling. So, we are going for it. Am I sure of it?? Hell, no. I'm scared shitless. If I lose my job (who the heck knows what will happen after 2 acquisitions in 2 years), we are SCREWED. I will never get another job making what i make now in this economy. I know I have it good where I am so I'm just praying that everything stays status quo. We would survive if I made less, no question, but it would be tight and neither of us wants to give up the way we live now. We live frugally as it is so we can afford to remodel our kitchen with cash or buy a car with cash. If I have to take a paycut with 2 in daycare, all that buffer is gone. Ugh. We've worked so hard to get where we are that I don't want to go back to how we used to be.

I'm 35 years old and had trouble conceiving A. We don't even know if I can get pg again. I guess only time will tell on that. This worrying could all be for nothing - who knows.

Speaking of work. A few years ago (I don't remember if it was before or after we got married), I started a post-graduate certificate in Forensic Accounting to broaden my horizons and my marketability. I did 2 classes and then life got in the way. I've decided that I need to finish the other 2 classes while work will pay for it just in case I find myself on a job hunt. So, I enrolled in the first one last night. Hold me. How the heck am I going to do this? It's an online course which is good and it runs 7/7-8/30. I'm hoping that the last one I need is offered in the fall and I can be done by December. I've figured that my sewing will have to take a backseat during this time b/c I just cannot work full-time, go to school, and take care of myself, my family, and our house AND run a side business. If I have time, I'll do some work but I just will not take any large orders unless it's a for a good friend or it's worth a lot of $$. As it is, the sewing room is being shut down in the next 2 weeks so we can store kitchen stuff there so I'll be done for about a month anyway.

Ugh, the kitchen. I need to start packing stuff up. I already pulled out some baking stuff and will bake this weekend to get rid of some stuff. I just don't know where we are going to put all the stuff that is in the cabinets, the appliances, the new cabinets, the flooring, etc. What a nightmare. Not to mention that the kitchen is getting gutted on June 6, I'm flying out to VA on June 8, and my brother will be in town from June 6-9. We are trying to figure out how to get together but who knows if it will happen. I'll be bummed if I don't get to spend some time with him and Jill. The way flights are looking, I don't know if I'll get out there this summer or not.

Anyway, that is my post about life and what has been going on. I know my WW related posts have been slacking but I will try to get better about that this week. Although with work, I don't know if that will happen.