My heart hurts

I started bleeding on Thursday and we had an ultrasound yesterday and there is no baby :( There is a sac but no baby. Over the course of last night, I was cramping pretty badly and bleeding pretty badly. I have no idea if this process is over yet or not but right now, I feel pretty good physically. But my heart hurts.

Why does this have to happen??? Why does it have to happen twice??? Were we only meant to have 1 child, our miracle? I'm having trouble having faith right now - faith that things will work out the way they are supposed to. I was on the fence about having #2 from the beginning for a few reasons but this experience has made me realize that our family is not complete right now. I want a second child.

Thankfully my mom is spreading the word to my family. We had told them all last weekend down the Cape and now I remember why we had waited 12 weeks with A. We'll be waiting again the next time. I think we were too confident given that everything had worked out with my pg with A. Lesson learned.