It's a wrap!

Well I completed Week 1 of Optifast. I didn't think I would make it and I'm not convinced I will make it through Week 2. But more on that later. My first weigh-in was yesterday. Down 5.8 pounds!! BOOYAH. All that success made me want nachos. No, really, there isn't anything wrong with me (yeah right). Any-who, the first week was tough. Lots of cravings to get through. I was pretty proud of myself though. On Saturday I took the kids to Dunkins in between activities and just got my coffee with skim milk (RIP my sweet Stevia). They sat there and drank their chocolate milk and ate their donuts with vanilla frosting and jimmies and I salivated in my corner. After all the Saturday morning activities, the girls and I headed to Greenland so C could work/nap/whatever he does when he's on call. My cousin and her bf stopped by for a visit and my grandparents came over as well. My evil evil little itty bitty grandmother brought over homemade turtles. OY VEY. But I did not have a single one. I even brought some home for C and still didn't have any. For dinner I had some steak (I had to eyeball it as mom does not have a food scale), salad (no dressing so I threw half the steak on top), and steamed broccoli and red peppers. I was satisfied. Now had my mom put out cheese and crackers or chips, it would have been a scene.
 
So the weekend had it's challenges but I got through them all. This week is a much different story. Saturday is my firstborn's 7th birthday. Yeah, I don't know how she's 7 already either. We are having it at a bowling alley and there will be pizza and cake. I cannot have any of it and I'm already angry. BUT not as angry as I am about Sunday. On Sunday we are heading back down to Greenland to celebrate my grandmother and A's birthdays with my extended family on that side. My mom is making lobster mac-n-cheese and I'm making a plain 6 cheese mac-n-cheese for those who don't like lobster. Now a few things to note. First, macaroni and cheese is a food group to me. I could live on it. Throw lobster on top and the angels have sung. Second, this will be day 2 with cake that I cannot touch. Third, I have to somehow eat my Optifast stuff without anyone noticing. I'm not publicizing this diet and I don't feel like discussing it. So you might find me sneak eating my opti products while hiding in a closet. Oh the irony.

Now you might ask why my mother is making this decadent meal and even more importantly asked me to make some as well knowing I'm doing this? Well I didn't tell her until she already set the menu. She's not evil, I swear. Oh and on Monday I'm meeting a friend for dinner. My plan is to just drink water and order a steak with steamed veggies or a garden salad with steak or chicken on top. I'll be ok with that. My issue will be the chips and salsa we ALWAYS order along with the beer. I don't know how to get around that without telling her about it.

You may wonder why I blog about it when I don't seem to want to tell anyone. Well I don't advertise my blog or link it on the FB. It's for me to document my weight loss journey and my struggles. I started it a long time ago (after A was born) and even if I don't blog for 3 (!!!) years, I always come back to it. It's my outlet. If people find it and find out, so be it. For now I only plan to do this for 3-4 weeks and then I will reevaluate when I get back from FL.

I will say I don't think I could have make it through week 1 without the support of my amazing husband. He did all the cooking and kept my needs in mind. He supported me and stayed on his food plan as well. He listened to me bitch and didn't say a word when I got hangry and started taking it out on everyone around me. He hugged me when I needed it. He is my rock.

The First 3 Days

I just completed 3 days of OptiFast. If you are reading this and feel so inclined, please send nachos. And beer. Honestly it hasn't been THAT bad. I've been hungry (to be expected) but overall, feeling ok. I've had a good mix of the powder shakes (morning smoothies!), ready-to-drink shakes (typically lunch and/or a snack), and bars. My favorite bar right now is the chocolate one. YUM. I'm consuming a lot of chocolate. LOL My Lean N Green meals have been my savior. Food has never tasted so good (well since the Shakeology 3 Day thing). Night 1 I had steak tips and broccoli. Night 2 I had a glorious baked chicken thigh and green beans. Tonight was leftovers of Night 2. This is what I've felt like by dinnertime

I am bound and determined to finish Week 1. I'm not thinking beyond that right now. This weekend will be a big test. I'm taking the girls to Greenland (aka my parents house - in my family we have this habit of referring to locations by their street names. Yes we are weird) and I haven't told my mother about OptiFast yet. This should go well :/

The beginning . . .

I had my weekly visit at NHHW today. I am officially taking the plunge into OptiFast. I picked up my first week of "product" and asked all the relevant (and a few irrelevant) questions I could think of. I am on Week 1 of the Transition Plan. As I'm heading to FL in 4 weeks and didn't want to be on the full fast for my trip, this is our compromise. So my plan is 4 OptiFast products a day and 1 Lean N Green meal. Lean N Green? What the hell is that? It sounds like what Kermit the frog would have as his login for Beachbody. Here are the details. I bought 7 chocolate shake packets (mix with water/ice/coffee/whatever that is basically air), 11 Ready to Drink chocolate shakes (Hi, my name is Mrs McQ. Can my juicebox and I have lunch with you?), and 10 bars (mix of chocolate and peanut butter). I will use our awesome Ninja to make a shake each morning and I will probably add a little coffee to it to shake things up. I'm wild like that. Lunch will be a ready to drink chocolate shake and snacks will either be bars or another ready to drink shake. For dinner I will eat real food with the family. I can have 4 ounces of lean protein with no added fat and 1/2 c of cooked vegetables or 1c of salad. I'm limited on my vegetables. I cannot have tomatoes (technically a fruit), carrots, winter squash, corn, peas, etc. All starchy vegetables are on the "So sorry" list. Thank Scooby I can still have my cup (or two) of coffee in the morning and can even add a little bit of skim milk. So that's my plan from tomorrow (1/14) until I leave for FL on Feb 7. It is guaranteed to be one of the hardest things I've ever done. That will not stop me.

The End as We Know It . . . and I don't feel fine.

Well it's been over 3 years since I last wrote in this blog. A lot has happened. We sold our first home and bought what we hope is our "forever" home. I lost my job at the end of 2010 and 2 jobs later, I think I'm settled again. C has a new job now, A is in public school (1st grade!) and K is in a new pre-school closer to the new house. We moved about 40min south of where we were to be closer to family. It's good and bad. LOL So that wraps up what has happened in our day to day lives. Next up is my health. Why do we need to talk about this you ask? Well it is the segway into where I am in my weight loss journey today. Ever since I had A, I've had some pain in my right leg off and on. I finally got to my breaking point in 2012 and sought help. Long story short, my leg pain is actually a totally fried right hip. I have a torn labrum and degenerative arthritis. I tried physical therapy and a cortisone shot and all helped for a short period of time but nothing lasted. In September of 2012 I had arthroscopic surgery on my hip and 6 months of physical therapy. Fast forward to now, the hip is still fried. The only option I have left is a Total Hip Replacement. Yes you read that right. A THR (the abbreviation you will see from here on out because I'm far to lazy to keep typing it out) at 40. But wait, it doesn't end there. I'm too fat for a THR. In order for my surgeon or my second opinion surgeon to do it, I have to lose weight - a lot of weight. The risks and complications are too high at my current weight and BMI. My surgeon recommended weight loss surgery before the THR. I left the office in tears that day and cried for a very long time. I started my journey to the THR in September of 2013. In late October, I sought the help of New Horizons Health and Wellness and their medical weight loss team. I'm down about 15 pounds since September. NHHW has me on a low calorie diet and I see them once a week. It's not enough. I do not have the willpower to do this day in and day out right now. Plus their plan has me exercising every day. That is great in theory but the reality is my hip says otherwise and I exercise when I can. I try to do Aqua Aerobics a few times a week but the schedule does not always allow for me to get there. So here we are in January of 2014 and I want and need to have the THR before summer. That is my goal. In order to do that, I need to kick things up a notch. So when I go to NHHW tomorrow for my weekly appointment, I'm picking up my first week of OptiFast. I will be on a partial fast from tomorrow until the 2nd week in February (I have a trip to FL planned the second weekend of Feb). What is a partial fast? It's OptiFast shakes, bars, and soups for 4 meals/snacks a day. 1 meal can be lean protein and veggies. I HAVE to stay on course or I could land myself in the ICU with pancreatitis. That thought alone is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow (or wide in my case.) After I get back from FL, I will go back on OptiFast until C and I go away in March. I'm hoping that this will give me enough of a jump-start to keep things moving and get to the point where I can have the THR. So that is where I am. I have a few other health issues going on but you will only hear about them if they don't resolve themselves shortly :) If you hear about them, I'm going to be a little bit bat-mad. Wish me luck - I'm going to need it!!!

Where 'o where has the time gone . . .

That is the question of the day. Yes, it's been 2 months and 2 days since you last heard from me. In that time, I am at the same point as I was when I started blogging again. I'm fat and out of shape.

As usual I could blame work, sick kids, blah, blah, blah but I won't. It's all on me.

I got a new treadmill and I've used it once a week for the past 3 weeks. At this rate, it will pay for itself by the year 2020.

Starting tomorrow I'm going into work up to a 1/2 hour late and doing morning workouts. I have to. We have so much going on that both of us trying to get night workouts in is just not working.

I've got a little challenge going with some of my friends and at this rate, I will lose it. I don't want to lose it so this has to stop.

I'll check in tomorrow and let you know if my master plan worked or not. Guess that means I should step away from the wine huh?

The First Run

Well, I did it. Not that anyone asked if I did - if I can't count on you guys, who can I count on?? LOL

I got out there around 6:40 and it took me 31 minutes. Of course, it took me 4 hrs to stop sweating and that was after a cold shower. I was only 18 min late for work AND I dried my hair. That alone deserves a high five. Note to self though - don't put on 3" heels after your first run in 5 months. OMG pain!!!!

The run itself wasn't bad. I definitely was not easy but not horrible. Week 1, Day 1 of Couch to 5K down, 8 weeks and 2 days left.

Ok, that's all I have time to write. Maybe later tonight I'll enlighten all of you with our adventures with KISS on Saturday night. I learned how to do the Shake Weight dance and that 60 year old men should not shake their spandex clad derrieres in public.

Decision

I've tried working out at night after the girls go to bed, getting up at 5am, and walking at lunch. I can't stick to any of it. The night thing is a huge challenge because it's 8pm by the time Amelia is down. My little munchkins are up by 6am usually so I'm beat. Getting up at 5am is not something I can stick to because if I had to estimate, we only sleep through the night about 50% of the time. It comes in waves but a bad wave will not only throw me off the exercise wagon, it will drag me behind it clutching for dear life. Walking at lunch does nothing for me because I refuse to get sweaty and have to keep working for 4 hours. If that makes me a primadonna, so be it.

Considering that I'm not overly concerned with the hours I'm putting in a work right now as long as I get my work done, I'm trying a new tactic (once I run it by Chris of course). Three days a week, I will head out to run at 6:30am once I've helped Chris get the kids and himself ready to leave. I'm not sure if it will be M/W/F or T/Th and a weekend morning yet but it will be one of those. I would prefer M/W/F because that give me the weekend to makeup a run if the weather is bad. It takes me about 30min to do Couch to 5K (yet again!!!!) so that puts me back a little after 7am and I'll hop in the shower and not be too late for work. It will require a little planning so that my lunch is ready the night before, etc but it's doable. I like this plan because it doesn't require me to get up early or run in the dark at 8pm.

I ordered a iPod accessory pack today that has an armband so no excuses there. I already have a Couch to 5K app on my iPod. Again, no excuses. Hell, I already have a running playlist from when I was running the treadmill over the winter (RIP treadmill).

So, I'm posting this so you'll check on me on Monday to make sure I did it. I've got to find something I can stick with. If Amelia tells me one more time that my butt is too big for the toilet, I might flush her :)

It's a challenge

Being home is presenting me with many challenges. I have not been able to workout at all. I can blame part of that on sick kids, vacation, etc but part of it is just my fault. Honestly, I'm in a funk all around. Work sucks, the landscaping is way behind and way over budget, and I just feel disconnected from my husband. Life is throwing us curve-balls and we are not handling them well or together. I'm in a funk.

Change in attitude, change in latitude

I'll be honest, I have no idea what that means. LOL But I left the office and took a little drive, stopped at a WalMart to try and get a trial size detangler (doesn't exist and I didn't buy a full size b/c I'm carrying my bag, not checking it and really didn't want to FedEx it home. I don't think ITT will pay for that. LOL)

Anyway, I digress. After the WalMart experience (it's always an experience regardless of where in the country you are), I headed back to my hotel and relaxed for about a 1/2 hr. At that point, I was starving. I'm at a Residence Inn so there isn't any room service or restaurant. I headed out and grabbed some dinner (chef salad, beer, and dessert - hey I got the salad!!! lol). I came back to the hotel and emailed Chris and then was going to read. I have a library book (the new Sookie!) that is due back tomorrow so I need to finish it before I land in Boston so I can return it at 1am as I'm driving by the library on the way home from the airport. My plan was to sit on my fat ass and read. I don't know what came over me but instead of doing that, I put my workout clothes on and went down to the exercise room and walked the treadmill for 30min while reading. GO ME!!!

I think my attitude is changing. It's slow and it's not without it's slip ups (hello dessert tonight!) but it's slowly changing.

Ok, it's time for me to shut the laptop and pack so I can get to the office at a reasonable time in the AM. Nighty night all!

Back and around again

Well, it's been over a year. In that year lots has happened. I'll give you the Cliff Notes version because lets face it, you really don't give a shit about the details, right?

• Baby #2 aka Kiera Lynn entered this world on August 28, 2009. But then again, if you read this blog that means you know me and you probably already knew that.
• I'm losing my job on December 31, 2010 and have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life.
• I'm so freaking busy that some days I feel like I don't have time to breathe.
• We've done more work on the house (yes, shocker, I know)
  

It's taken me almost a year to get to this point. The point where I take back control over my life, my weight, and my health. I gained 8lbs during my pregnancy or something like that. I was down over 25lbs within 2 months of giving birth. As soon as I went back to work, it all went to hell in a hand basket and I gained 10 back. I could sit here and make excuses but what it comes down to is boredom and lack of movement being back in the office.

In my defense, the girls don't exactly sleep well on a regular basis and I tried numerous times to get back into a workout routine only to be interrupted by sleepless nights. But what is my excuse for the eating? I don't have one. Plain and simple.

I'm not going to sit here and proclaim that I'm back and 100% committed. I'd be fooling myself if I did. Hell, I'm sitting in a hotel room right now far from home. If that isn't a recipe for disaster, I don't know what is???

What I will do is exercise as regularly as I can. I worked out this morning and will do so for the next 2 mornings while I'm traveling. I'm hoping this can spur me into action when I get home (girls, do you hear me????? SLEEP!!!!)

What I will do is control my portions. I will not avoid "bad" foods but I will eat half. The world is not coming to an end so why do I need to eat like it is??? And I will limit my alcohol to weekends only (exceptions being for business trips because hot damn I needed those Naughty School Girls tonight to get me through that incredibly painful dinner! Yes it's a drink - get your mind out of the gutter Christopher)

It's not entirely about losing the weight. It's also about coming full circle on my relationship with food. Why do I graze? Why do I eat mindlessly? Why can't I just stop and say "No, I don't need that". If I had the answers, I wouldn't be obese know would I? But I will find what works for me. My weight may go up and down in the process and that's ok. It's not a race to take it off. It just needs to come off AND stay off.

This will be a process in finding what works for me and what fits into my life. I'm not giving up Date Night In with my husband. I need it. Is it more wine than I should consume in 1 sitting? Depends on who you ask! Do I need the snacky food with it? I don't know, anyone else think Tostito's and wine taste great together? I do.

The only promise I am making to myself is to be kind to myself. Try my hardest and have it be good enough. I will get there. My girls and Chris deserve a healthy, vibrant, active mom. They will get one.

Father's Day

I should begin by saying that I started this post a few days ago but I could never quite get it right, hence why it's being posted a bit late.

When C and I met, I had NO idea the depth of his abilities as a father. I had no idea when A was born. I just didn't.

He is amazing with her. There are no words that can describe the bond between the 2 of them. I remember being in the hospital after she was born and being in awe. For the most part, we tried to keep her with us at night as much as possible. There was one night that she was a bit fussy (BF was NOT going well at all) so C laid down with her on his cot and they slept like that for most of the night. He was so careful and so gentle with her. I was so worried that he was going to roll and smother her (totally ridiculous now that I look back on it) but he knew where she was the whole time.

I had an inkling that he was going to be a good dad but I never imagined that he was going to be as involved and gentle and patient as he is. You see, my husband has no patience. When "they" say that you marry your father, it is 100% correct in this case. This includes the good and bad traits (lol). My dad had no patience when I was a kid. He's better now but still has his moments. C is very much like him. But the limits to his patience with A have astounded me. He has his moments as we all do but this is one area where I can say he truly, truly surprised me.

So C, Happy Father's Day. I hope you know how much we both love and appreciate you!!! And I know that I can't wait to see you with this little one too. I'm sure you will continue to astound me.

Happy Father's Day to my dad also. I've written about him in the past so I won't rehash it but he is amazing also. I can't imagine my life without him. And he is an incredible "Bop" to A. I never thought he would be as awesome as he is!

xoxo

8 x 8

Des tagged me so here goes! (Sorry for the delay Des!)

8 THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO:

* Vacation in about 3 weeks
* Our anniversary dinner at Ruth's Chris and a morning to sleep in after
* The arrival of Baby McQ #2
* Finishing this #&&@^$@$ house
* Swimming in the pool that is finally ready after 5 weeks of treatment
* Watching Amelia grow up and be a fantastic big sister
* Losing weight and getting into shape in the fall
* My brother moving back to the east coast next year


8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY:

* Went to work
* Played Guitar Hero with C
* Played blocks with A
* Made dinner
* Read books to A and put her to bed
* Folded laundry
* took a shower
* Made the grocery list and left it on my desk. oops.

8 THINGS I WISH I COULD DO:

* Go on a nice vacation with my husband and just relax
* Have more patience with things I cannot control
* Visit my brother again
* Lose weight and feel better about myself
* Know when this child is arriving
* Watch my daughter be a flower girl for the first time
* Run 5K's again
* Successfully decorate a cake

8 SHOWS I WATCH:

* Army Wives
* The First 48
* Sprout's Good Night Show (does that count?)
* Family Guy (only when C is watching it)
* House Hunters
* Law & Order (any of them)
* ??
* ??

8 FAVORITE FOODS:

* Ice cream
* Nachos
* Coffee
* Lobster ravioli
* Lobster
* Extra cheese pizza
* PB&J
* Pizza

8 PLACES I'VE TRAVELED:

* France
* Toronto
* Florida
* San Francisco
* Las Vegas
* Aruba
* St Thomas and St Maarten
* New York

8 PLACES I'D LIKE TO TRAVEL:

* Ireland
* Australia
* Hawaii
* Italy
* Alaska
* Key West
* St Lucia
* anywhere were the drinks are fruity and the pool is clean

8 PEOPLE I TAGGED

I don't think I have 8 people I can tag but here goes:

*Shelby at Irish Mama
*Meghan at I've Won the Megabucks
*Karen at Venezie Bags
ok so I have 3. Sue me.

:)

It's been a while . . .

And I really do not have a good excuse other than, I've been really really busy at work and at home. I'm getting a slight reprieve at work today and although I should be off documenting processes and procedures for my maternity leave, I'm procrastinating! This could be a long rambling post catching everyone (the whole 2 people that read this blog semi-regularly. lol) up on what has been happening at the McQ household. You've been warned.

First and foremost . . . CONGRATULATIONS MEGHAN!!!!! My dear friend Meghan had twin girls on May 27 (also my little bro's b-day so a good day!). Welcome to the world Bridget and Emily! Now let mommy get some sleep! hehe

The house is coming along - the contractors finished up on May 22 and C and I have been working on painting and drywall touch up work since then. The half bath is painted and just last night we painted A's room. We are waiting on the plumber to put the sink, vanity, and toilet in but there's really not a huge rush for that. We've been w/o a half bath for 5 years now, we can wait a little longer. Tonight we are going to buy A's new furniture and we can hopefully get her in her room in the next 1-2 weeks. According to my calculations (and my husband may have more stuff that I'm not thinking of) we still need to do the following before that can happen:

• Sort through the boxes in the middle of A's room and purge/reorganize (this is all our stuff)
• Prime the linen closet
• Install the rest of the flooring in linen closet (we ran out when the contractors were doing it - oops)
• Move remaining stuff from bullet #1 into linen closet
• Paint trim and doors in bathroom and A's room
• Paint ceiling in A's room
• Put trim back up around door in A's room
• Thoroughly clean the floor in A's room (it's a mess from paint and drywall residue)
• Thoroughly clean the windows in A's room
• Install closet fixtures in A's room (this could wait - not essential)

I figure if we divide and conquer, we can get it all done next week. Hopefully. I'm an expert trim painter so I'm sure I'll be busy with that while he is working in the linen closet but we'll see. I will post pics of everything once it's done!

C and his brothers have also ROCKED on the outside work. I cannot thank them enough for all the time and effort they have put in!

On the baby front, all is well. I am 29 weeks (per the above adorable ticker. hehe) and just chugging along. I'm about as big now as I was when I delivered A so I can't wait to see myself in 10 weeks. Right now we are still planning on VBAC but I am booking a tentative C-section for the 41 week mark in case I just don't go into labor on my own. My midwife and I talked about induction but we really don't feel it's in my best interests so we (C and I) decided that we'd let my body go to about 41 weeks before we called it quits. So at my next appointment, I'll be booking it with Dr F for anywhere between Aug 27-31, her schedule permitting. Hopefully we won't need it but it's there if we do.

Tomorrow we are heading to the Cape (after swimming, of course) for my brother's family wedding party. We are doing a clambake at my parents house on Sunday so it should be a good time. I'm looking forward to some quality time with family. Tonight I need to go out and find something to wear!

Weekends are filling up fast between now and the arrival of Baby McQ #2. It's nuts actually! But at least we'll be busy!

Adios for now - I hope to be back next week with some good pics of the house and the party!

This is hard

I'm in a whiny mood so please feel free to ignore this post. And here is my disclaimer before I even begin:

I know how lucky I am. I know the long road that it took for us to get here. I'm not complaining, just venting before I lose it. I would not trade this experience for anything.

I'm not superwoman, as much as I try to pretend I am. Things get to me after a while and I just can't deal anymore. I'm tired, my feet are swollen, I can't get my rings on, I have little extremities poking places that are making it hard to breath at times, my 2 year old is pushing major buttons, and I'm faced with my nemesis, drywall dust, this week. Again, I know how lucky I am but it's getting old. And given that it's only May, it's going to get considerably worse. Most days I can just shrug it all off but some days, it just gets to me.

I'm sorry to everyone if I'm cranky, pissy, whiny, and downright bitchy. I truly am. I'm just trying to find a temporary "normal" that I can live with until August.

Mother's Day

I have a hard time writing about Mother's Day because I know there are so many people who are where I used to be. All I can say is that I wish that everyone can experience being a mother in their lives and my heart aches for those who are waiting. I apologize in advance if any part of my post hurts or offends anyone. This is my blog and it's where I post about my feelings so I cannot apologize for my feelings.

As usual, A went above and beyond for me and I loved it all. That being said, the best part of my day, every day, is when she first sees me either in the morning or after work. The look on her face and the way it just brightens and breaks into a huge smile is the best feeling in the world. If I could be assured that I would get that same look every day between now and when I die, I would not need another gift ever (not that I need them anyway, but you know what I mean). I'm not foolish enough to think that will happen b/c you know, we do have the teenage years coming up in 11 years. LOL I have a feeling I'll see enough scowls then to last me a lifetime and make me rue the day I ever gave my mom a hard time.

I cannot even begin to imagine what this little one will be like but I cannot wait to meet him or her. This week, it's a boy. This changes every week with me but I guess I'm entitled as I am the mama. C felt the baby kick for the first time last night and it was awesome. He never had that opportunity with A b/c she was breech for so long and never did kicks that you could feel from the outside. This is a whole new experience for both of us and it rocks. I find it very hard to believe that next year I will be a mom to 2 on Mother's Day (fingers crossed, of course b/c everyone knows that nothing is certain unfortunately).

As of my OB appointment this coming Friday, I am on 2 week visits. How the hell did that happen??? I feel like it was just yesterday that I was gagging and dry heaving. In 2 weeks, I'll be in the 3rd trimester - really???? Can you tell that this blows my mind? I think it's more that I'm in denial about this little one arriving and everything that still needs to be done. C is making awesome progress (b/c he rocks!!) on the list and the contractors will be here Monday so I think we'll be ok. I started a list today of stuff we need to buy for both A and the little one before August. It's not a short list. LOL

Rainy Saturday

It's definitely a rainy, dreary Saturday here in New England. We have not seen much of the sun this week at all but maybe tomorrow?!?!?

I'll start with some updates to previous posts (in bulleted form b/c i'm really lazy sometimes):

• My brother and J tied the knot on Thursday in Yosemite. They sent some pics and it was gorgeous. I really am happy for them even if I'm disappointed that we were not there. Congrats L and J! xoxo
• My husband and my BIL's (J and J) just rule. Last weekend they put the swingset back together, laid down new deckboards, built a retaining wall, and other thing. Thanks guys!!!

That's really it for the updates. We had our second swimming class this AM and A had fun but I don't think she enjoyed it as much as last week. She was also tired and has been a royal brat since we got home. So I'm blaming that. C took some pics today and if they aren't too bad (aka of me), I'll post some when I get around to downloading the camera.

We are heading to MIL's this afternoon to have dinner with her and some BIL's for Mother's Day. My MIL always wants Mother's Day to herself so we try to see her on Saturday. I have no idea what I'll do tomorrow but if I know my husband and my daughter, I'll be spoiled rotten. We probably won't get to see my mom but who knows. The woman just can't stay in 1 place for very long. lol

That's it from rainy NE. Best wishes to Des' husband next week! I'll be thinking of you F!!!!

And a happy belated birthday to Meghan!!!!

Another sleepless night

This seems to happen more and more often lately. I just can't sleep. And it sucks. It's 2:19 am and both C and I are wide awake. I have no idea how long he's been up but I went to bed at 10pm and couldn't fall asleep until about midnight. Then I woke up around 1am and I've been up ever since. Eh, either way, I'm just trying to make myself tired enough to go to sleep at this point.

There is good news and forward progress on the construction/remodeling front. The plumber was here last week and finished up the rough plumbing on Saturday! And C spoke with the contractor tonight and he'll be here the week of May 18!!! We planned on about 6 weeks before he could start as that is typically how far out he is booking so this is very good news! And because I can't sleep, here is a short (hahahaha) list of what needs to be done around here before Baby McQ, Jr shows up:

• Clean crap out of new half-bath and A's big girl room
  
• Contractor will fix floor in new half bath, put up remaining drywall, put in tile or laminate flooring, replace door, build linen closet
  
• Contractor will put full wall back up in A's new big girl room, install door, and replace attic access door to that room
• We need to pick out toilet, vanity, sink, lighting for bathroom
• Plumber needs to come back to finish plumbing and install above
• Paint, paint, paint (new bath, A's new room)
• Pick out and buy/order A's new furniture
• Move A's room, steam clean carpet in nursery
• Set up nursery for baby
  
• Go through all newborn clothes to take inventory and buy what we need
• Potty training (this should be fun. BAER)
  
• Clean out foyer and move the playroom (which is a corner of our living room right now) out there to make room for all the baby stuff that needs to come out of the attic
• Put A's swingset back together
• Replace decking with Trex (this was a last minute addition b/c we are insane and don't have enough to do already)
• Open pool (and soon!)
• Plant annuals and finish cleaning flower beds
• Rototill veggie garden and plant
• Do Spring shed rearranging (move snowblower, etc)

In between all this falls birthdays for 2 brother-in-laws, my brother, MIL, and my nephew. Not to mention Mother's Day, Father's Day, our anniversary, my brother's Mass wedding reception, BIL's fiancee's shower, BIL's wedding, Memorial Day on the Cape, a week in Truro in July, swimming lessons, concerts, and dinners with friends. YIKES. I'm really unsure how it's all going to get done but rest assured, it somehow will.

We've been working on clearing out some junk so craigslist and ebay have been busy. Our house is just too small to accumulate stuff.

In other good news, we bought a minivan! C picked it up this morning. It's a white 2008 Dodge Grand Caravan with 20K miles. It's so nice to have that off the list! So far, he really likes it so that's good considering he'll be driving it to work and daycare for the next 5 years.

I think that's enough babbling from me. And yes it is babble considering the time. oy. This is not the week for me to be sleep deprived!!!! Work is too nuts!

Sweet dreams everyone! I'm going to attempt sleep again.

It doesn't matter which way you slice it

Being a mom (and a Dad) is HARD. I've been thinking a lot recently about the age old working mom vs SAH mom debate. First, why is there a debate? As far as I'm concerned, most moms choose what is best for their families. For me, working is best for mine. For me to not work means that my family takes a large monetary hit that just doesn't make sense for us. I would love to work part-time instead but it's just not in the cards right now. I also know that SAHM's make that choice b/c it's what is best for their family and I respect that. I'm also very jealous of it some days! haha I guess I just don't understand why some people on each side feel the need to push why their situation is better. Neither is better. Both have their pro's and con's and I wish people could see that.

This is on my mind because frankly, my job blows lately. Blows big chunks actually. It's so bad that I went home last night and had a convo with C about whether I can give notice w/o having another job. With the economy the way it is, that answer is a resounding NO. And I understand this. But it doesn't make it any easier.

That is all. Just some thoughts wandering around in my head right now.

Sick, sick, sick

For once, I have valid reasons for the large amount of time in between posts. Early last week I cam down with a little cold. I thought it was on the way out when I left for FL on Friday AM. I was wrong. I felt ok in FL until Sunday when I was just bone tired. I flew home on Monday AM, walked into my house at 11:50am and crawled into bed. I woke up/got up at 2pm sick as a dog. Fever, chills, etc.

Now C started getting my cold before I left as well and did not indicate that he was feeling horrible before I left on Friday. When I called him at lunch time on a layover, I found out he was home sick. My husband does NOT call in sick. Ever. So I knew he was really sick. I hovered between feeling horrible for him and being royally pissed off at him for not telling me how sick he really was. I never would have left!!!! Luckily my parents came to the rescue and picked A up from daycare and took her to the Cape for the weekend. C spent the entire weekend in bed. I really don't know what he would have done had they (or anyone else) not been available to help him. He said he felt so horrible that he was scared to drive to pick her up.

But we are both on the mend finally and still praying that A doesn't come down with it. It's been a long, long week though and I'm still walking around with a box of tissues and peeing myself from coughing. Nice visual, huh?

We had our 18week ultrasound on Tuesday and although we were both (yes, BOTH of us!) tempted to find out the sex of Baby McQ #2, we did not. Honestly, I'm regretting it. I really want to know. But unless we get another u/s for some reason, I guess I lost my chance. The baby looks great and my fluid and cervix look great. They did see a calcium spot on one of the heart valves that they said is a soft marker for Downs. It is not a defect in any way, thankfully. And that coupled with my early screening results still put me well in the normal range so we are not worrying about it.

Well, I broke my new rule by posting about everyday life but I'm not feeling witty enough tonight to post on anything else. We took A to Friendly's tonight as a special treat and she was great. It's nice to be able to take her out and have a normal meal. My stomach is now a mess but oh well.

I'm still waiting on some name ideas (hint hint hint hint). lol

What's in a name?

That is the question that C and I are taxed with at the moment. As I'm sure everyone who knows us knows, we will not find out the sex of Baby McQ#2 prior to birth. We didn't find out with A either. So, we need to go into this with 2 names picked out.

Our boy name is the same boy name that we had picked out when I was pregnant with A. That name is very special to me and it was non-negotiable that it was our boy name for this pregnancy too. If this little one is a boy, he will be Michael James. The Michael is after my father who is so incredibly special to me. We haven't always seen eye to eye, especially during my teen/college years but as we've gotten older, we've developed a very close relationship. I cannot picture my life without him.

Once typical "Dad" move that I recall is when I was in high school and it was summer. I had a boyfriend who was 4 years older than me (and not a fave of my parents) and I would go to his house on week nights he didn't work. My Dad used to tell me that i needed to be home by the time he and my mom went to bed (11:30pm) or he was waking me up when he got up. LOL It worked. At that age, who wants to get up that early?!?!

I also remember when I got accepted to a particular college and got a scholarship. He was so proud of me that he came home with a rose for me. That is SO not my Dad. Or when I was away at college and it was freshman year and I was sick. He went out, bought me a get well card, and sent it himself. Again, SO not my Dad. I can only hope that if we do have a son, he gets all the great traits that his Bop has. I love you Dad.

Here is a one of my favorite pics of my Dad and A:

And another pic just because I can't pick just one:



The middle name for our little boy is James. This is after C's brother and IMO best friend. We've all been through a lot over the years but what it comes down to is a mutual respect and love. He is a special (I'm using that word alot, aren't I?) part of the family and we are blessed to have him.

If only our girl name was as easy to come by. We are at a loss. Well, that's not exactly right. We aren't really discussing it. C has very few ideas for names and I have 1 that I'm stuck on that he isn't fond of. Deciding on A's name was so easy compared to this! I think after our U/S next week, we need to start the discussion again. I'm not sold on the 1 name he has offered up (and I'm not sure he is either) so we need to come up with other ideas at least for comparison. If anyone has any ideas, I'm open to them! Here are the unofficial requirements:

• Cannot be shortened to a common nickname (or at least isn't usually)
• Must go with a very Irish last name starting with McQ
• Cannot be a version of Chris (for obvious reasons!)

On your mark, get set, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO